Editor’s note: America just elected Kim Jong-Un as its supreme leader. Americans—both the 25% of the electorate who voted for this despot, plus the 50% who could be not be bothered to vote as, they evidently had more important things to worry about—have just committed a crime against humanity. Any war crime committed after inauguration (because whether or not Kim Jong-Un actually carries out what he promised, you all know what he promised) will make 75% of American adults war criminals. My mean progressive friend has posted her thoughts, with a conclusion that I fully endorse.
I have to admit, I’ve worn myself ragged over the last year and a half. The future of our country has been the only thing I’ve been able to think about. So it’s not surprising that on election night, of all nights, I was so exhausted that I fell asleep before the returns started coming in. I just couldn’t keep my eyes open. My poor brain was so hyper-focused on the desperate need of the American psyche for this election to end that it ended up doing some pretty crazy shit to me in my sleep. I had a terrible nightmare. I woke up in a sweat thinking America had elected an openly racist, misogynistic, xenophobic monster as president and given all three branches of government to the farthest right wing we have seen since our country’s inception. What it would be like if it had been real … but thankfully, it was just a nightmare.
Our next commander in chief is not the candidate who insulted Gold Star families and POWs.
Our president-elect didn’t promise to meet with Vladimir Putin before getting the keys to the White House.
The next leader of the free world hasn’t openly dismissed NATO and decided it should be a thuggish pay-for-play operation.
America’s beloved President Obama won’t be followed by the racist trash who started and perpetuated the birther movement.
America did not just pass the nuclear football to the candidate who reasons that the use of nuclear weapons is logical, because they exist.
America didn’t just decide that they didn’t want to have affordable healthcare covering pre-existing conditions and their children until they got out of college.
America didn’t just decide to empower the extreme right wing with the educations of our babies.
America didn’t just ensure decades of having the 2nd Amendment being interpreted to mean that anyone should be allowed to own an arsenal and carry it openly.
America didn’t just hand our economy to the candidate who has been responsible for it’s recent historic drop just by potentially being elected.
The candidate who said that climate change is a hoax won’t get to decide on the health of our planet just a year after the Paris climate deal.
The candidate who bragged about being a sexual assailant because of his status wasn’t just given the highest status position on the planet.
The fate of marriage equality and abortion rights and voting rights and campaign finance reform hasn’t just been upended by handing Congress the gift they were waiting for so they could continue to deny a moderate SCOTUS appointee and wait for the next president to nominate the most vile creature in a robe they can find.
Well, I’m awake now. And I’m ready to go into the future all of the pollsters assured us of. I’m ready for the next President who has been voted the most respected woman in the world 20 times. I’m ready to read about the futures of the small business owners who have a real champion on their side. I’m ready to have our new President and new blue Senate work on gun control measures like background checks and keeping guns out of the hands of abusers. I’m ready to see today’s college students who are going to make our world a better place get help with their college debt. I’m ready to finally see the Equal Rights Amendment get passed. I’m ready for our new President with the new blue Senate get started on taking Obamacare to the next level so it can work for everyone. I’m ready to see what compassionate immigration reform does to open the hearts and minds of my American brothers and sisters who love the story of our melting pot. I’m ready to finally get a fair tax structure where the rich pay their share and those of us in the middle and at the bottom get a break. I’m ready to see so many Americans get put back to work rebuilding our infrastructure. I’m ready to see the green jobs of tomorrow. I’m ready to see criminal justice reform.
Wait. I just checked the news. That wasn’t a nightmare? That really just happened?
You know what America? Go fuck yourself. Hard.